What was once a fairytale dream from some has turned into a nightmare for others. Join me as I help women who are struggling in their marriage and long-term relationships. I am going to address some very difficult subjects throughout this series. We know that many women have had their heart broken at least once in their lifetime. Why? Because we’ve been told since we were little girls through fictional stories and fairytales that one day we’re going to meet a Prince who is going to sweep us off our feet and treat us with love and respect all the days of our lives. Although, I wish this were true, the painful reality is – this kind of life does not exist, at least not in this world. In a budding relationship everything is wonderful, and it should be. But the depth comes in the longer you’re married. There’s a time when we’re all forced to realize that the honeymoon phase is over, and it’s time to learn what real lasting Love is.
The truth? Life is hard and can at times be very painful. Ever since the creation of mankind we learn in the scriptures that people are cruel and hurt one another, and it manifests in many different ways such as Father’s who leave their wives and abandon their children. I know this for a fact because I lived with my mother who was heartbroken after my father left her, and me, when I was just ten years old. (For more of my story read my new book: Love Awakens available at LoveAwakens.org) It was the most painful thing my mother had to endure until one day she took her own life, which led me down a path of my own guilt and shame.
As a minister and counselor, and as a result of much research on the subject of marriage and divorce, I have found many articles in relation to the hardships and struggles of marriage and long-term relationships. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve read how husbands (some of them Christian) have no idea how to love their wives. They don’t have a clue of what Love truly means. In fact, God knew this about men when he said, “Husband’s love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it.” As I read this I thought, why didn’t he say that to the wives? I later learned from my own experiences that they already do!
I have come to find that one main reason for this is they have found someone, (usually in the workplace or internet) who adores them and gives them a little more attention than what they’ve been used to. Listen ladies, it’s easy to adore someone when you don’t live with them, when you don’t see their daily faults and weaknesses, and all you see is their strong, successful side. What happens is, women begin to become attracted to such men (the married ones too) and before you know it, what seems to be innocent flirting has the potential to turn into something more, if not addressed immediately and stopped. It’s not that men are evil, we all have areas where we do not do the right thing. But in the case of marriage, the enemy works extra hard on men to lure them away from the sacred bond of marriage, and it comes in all shapes and sizes.
If you’re a wife and you suspect something is not right in your marriage, the following may help you get to the bottom of what you’re feeling:
What you can do:
1) Listen to your gut! In research I’ve found that our “gut” feeling or intuition never lies. It overrides our emotions, rationalization and reason.
2) If you suspect something is going on, talk to your spouse or partner. Bring it out in the open. If they deny it, keep talking. If they begin to get angry and turn it on you, be strong and don’t let them bully you (emotionally that is) if they get physical with you and you’re in danger, get out immediately and call 911.
3) Check phone messages, emails and texts. If you want to save your relationship or marriage, this is a very vital step. There’s also ways to check for ‘hidden’ messages and/or texts. Search Google for articles on how to do this, and look for out of the ordinary apps on their phone where they can hide private conversations. Be prepared, you may find information you’re not expecting.
In my research I’ve found that many women save their relationships and marriages by listening to their gut. It’s important to protect yourself, your marriage and your family by listening to your inner voice.
Sadly, there are many stories where this is not the case. When husbands leave their wives for other women, they don’t realize that their actions can bring devastation and extreme pain to not only their wives, but to their children as well. And it doesn’t stop there. The enemy (John 10:10) does not rest and will do everything in his power to destroy the family unit.
To be continued. If you’d like to read more stories and how to address these issues in your own life, marriage, relationships and family, follow me at ninatidwell.com
Also, order my book at LoveAwakens.org
Share your comments below. Thank you.