Turn Your Mourning into Dancing

Everyone experiences hardship. But, thanks to God, He turns what is Evil into GOOD. Before we go any further we must establish something that’s very important: Evil does NOT come from God, as the scriptures tell us that God is Not tempted of evil, Neither does He tempt anyone with Evil, because there is No Evil in Him, “Let No one say when they are tempted, “I am tempted by God”, for God CANNOT be tempted with evil, neither does He tempt anyone.” James 1:13.

When we look at Jesus Life, we do not see him performing any evil act. In fact, we see Him delivering, healing, and casting out devils. Yes devils. In short (as I teach on this subject extensively in my previous articles) Jesus came to “Destroy the Works of the Devil.” 1 John 3:8, “For this purpose the Son of God was made manifest, that He might DESTROY the works of the devil.” And in Acts 10:38, we are told, “How God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and with Power (the word Power in the Greed manuscripts is Authority) who went about DOING GOOD and HEALING ALL that are Oppressed of the Devil.”

In the scriptures we see that Jesus performed only Good to those who came to Him in Faith, as He Healed, Cast our devils, fed those who were hungry, and raised the dead, and Not anywhere will you see Him saying that He would not help them, or that God was doing it to them to teach them a lesson. No. He Always, Healed, Set-Free, and Delivered! Always. And in His home town, the only reason why it states that He “could not” NOT “would not” heal in His hometown, except to heal a few sick, was because of their Doubt; their Unbelief. But EVERYONE that came to Him in Faith; Believing, He Helped them.

In this article today we are going to address toxic relationships; evil behavior, Narcissism, and what the Bible, the Word of God says about it. Now, of course the Bible does not use the word Narcissism, But it does give us a plethora of scriptures and examples of those who lived wickedly, were stiff-necked, and refused to turn to God and Repent for their Evil behavior, their Pride and Ego, their seeking self (selfishness) rather than esteeming others Better than themselves. And when exposed for their evil behavior, many shifted blame on to others, not taking responsibility, and refused to be accountable for their sin, their wrong doing, and the harm they caused others. Yes of course there are times when everyone acts out in the flesh by being cruel, speaking harshly, blaming others, etc., we’re not addressing that, because if you’re like me, when I do, I turn to God and Repent Quickly. That’s wisdom. But, many of you have experienced or are in a relationship or marriage union with someone who has Narcissistic behavior. This behavior is Consistent. Even if they “apologize” it’s not long after that they’re right back at being cruel, cold, speaking harshly, shifting blame on you, gaslighting, and sucking the peace and Joy that God wants for you, out of your life. You may even have found yourself questioning, “What is going on!” Especially, If you are a Believer in Jesus, a Follower of Jesus. and you understand the works of the devil and how the enemy influences others, you continually find yourself, racking your brain, trying to figure out what this “nightmare” is all about.

Two years ago, a family member (a man) came to me and began to admit things, behavioral issues, that he had been projecting on someone in his life that he loved dearly. He was confronted with a reality, that this person he had been hurting (not physical, but narcissism, verbal abuse etc.,) left him. When He began to tell about what he had been learning and the regret of his behavior, I heard him say things, that I had Not heard ANY man say before. I was honestly shocked. And I communicated to him saying, “I have never heard any man admit what he had been sharing with me.” And during this conversation, he informed me of a book he had been reading, it’s author wrote it for men (Narcissists like himself) to help them face, and come to a True Repentance to God, because many of those men, lost their wives due to their cruel, narcissistic behavior. The author himself shares that some years ago, on his BIRTHDAY, his wife at the time, served him Divorce papers. And after learning extensively about this evil behavior, I can understand why she did it, as she was communicating to him that she was Done with the pain, the emotional pain, she had gone through.

The following are just a “few” of the Bible verses that confirm this evil behavior, and what God says about it. Know this, if you or someone you know is experiencing this hardship of evil behavior, I am here to tell you that God delivers. He had numerous promises to Help you and Deliver you, according to His word. I am also here to encourage you that the Word of God says, that Jesus, “Heals the Broken Hearted, and Binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3. And please note: The person in your life abusing you (Narcissistic Abuse) has some very serious issues, and these issues began in that person’s life way before you came along. And the reason why you didn’t necessarily see it in the beginning of your relationship, is because they are experts at keeping a public persona, (charm) which is Much different than what you experience behind closed doors. I have much information, but because there is so much information regarding this Behavior, I encourage you to begin studying and learning about this evil behavior, to educate yourself, and please understand this: You are not going crazy. What you are experiencing is VERY REAL and Evil.

The Bible extensively describes the behavioral patterns of narcissistic and selfish people.

Key Behavioral Traits Described in Scripture:

Grandiosity, and Self – Absorption:
A core characteristic of Narcissism is extreme self-focus. 2 Timothy 3:1-5 warn that in the last days, people will be “Lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud…” Similarly, Obadiah 1:3, describes the pride of the heart deceiving people into believing they are above reproach (or that they have done nothing wrong, or blame what they’ve done on to others,)

King Saul is a perfect example of narcissistic behavior, and blaming others, as were told in 1 Samuel 15 – Where he Disobeyed a direct Command from God, then attempting to rewrite what happened, claimed obedience, and shifted the Blame on to his soldiers when confronted by the Prophet Samuel.

Key Examples of Blame Shifting in Scripture:
Genesis 3:12-13, (Adam and Eve) When God confronts Adam (Adam in Hebrew means human being, as he was the First human being created in the image of God) for eating the forbidden fruit, Adam Blames Eve and implicitly blames God Himself. In short, rathe than Adam admitting his sin, which is Accountability, he Blamed God and the woman, “The Woman you put here with me – she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.” Note: The woman did Not force him to eat, Adam chose to eat it.

When God asks Eve, she blames the serpent: “The Serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

Numbers 20:12, and Deuteronomy 1:37, (Moses) Even great leaders struggled with this; Moses blamed the Israelites for his own exclusion from the Promised Land, “Because of you, the Lord became angry with me also.” Whereas God made it clear, it was due to Moses’ own lack of trust.

Blame Shifting in the Bible:

Projecting Blame onto others and taking zero responsibility, and zero accountability for your Own actions:
Verses on the Danger of Blame and Deflection:
Proverbs 19:3, “A person’s folly leads to their ruin, yet their Heart rages against the Lord.”

James 1:13, “When Tempted, no one should say God is tempting me, for God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He tempt anyone.” And it goes on to say that one is drawn away (from obeying God) to fulfill their own lust (not just sexual), selfishness, which includes pride, ego, blaming others, positioning yourself above others, etc.

Matthew 7:3-5, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brothers (others) eye and pay No attention to the Plank in your OWN eye? This warns against hyper-focusing on others faults while Ignoring personal Accountability.

Proverbs 28:13, Advises that Concealing sins brings No Prosperity, while CONFESSING and RENOUNCING them, finds Mercy.

1 John 1:8-9, Emphasizes that confessing sins leads to forgiveness and purification, rather than Self Deception. “Deceving Your Own Selves.”

Galatians 6:4,5, Encourages testing one’s own actions and carrying one’s own load Instead of Deflecting.

James 4:6, “God Resists the Proud and Gives Grace to the Humble.”

Proverbs 16:18, “Pride goes before Destruction, a haughty spirt before a fall.”

Another very powerful example of Refusing to repent was the story of Jezebel and her husband Ahab. Although Ahab, for a moment repented, but then chose to follow Jezebel, and rebelled against God, and great was their demise, I highly encourage you to read this entire story, beginning in 1 Kings 16.

True Repentance will show a Changed Heart:

Jesus said, “You will Know them by their Fruits.” Not by their words, but their turning to God, Repenting, will show in their Consistent Lifestyle and Behavior; they will show a lifestyle of Love, and Kindness, no longer evil or toxic.

Keep in mind, God is Not Mocked (One cannot trick God, they may be able to temporarily trick others, but Never God) Whatsoever a man sows (man means human being, Anthropos) that shall he Also reap.

Galatians 6:7-9, Be Not DECEIVED; God is Not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that sows to the flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that sows to the Spirt (Fruits of the Spirit) sha of the Spirit Reap Life everlasting.” This was not writing to the world, Paul by the Holy Spirit was addressing the church; the Believer, the followers of Jesus.

Matthew 7:16-20, Jesus says, “You will know them by their Fruits. Do men gather grapes from thwornbushes or figs from thistles? Even so, Every good tree bears Good fruit (that’s fruits of the Spirit), but a Bad tree bears bad fruit. V18, A Good tree cannot bear Bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear Good fruit. V19, EVERY TREE THAT DOES NOT BEAR GOOD FRUIT, IS CUT DOWN AND TROWN INTO THE FIRE. V20, therefore by their fruits YOU will know them.”

They will not be able to deceieve, talk their way out, nor charm their way out, don’t be deceived the Lord says, and clearly shows us that we will know them by their Fruit, their Consistent Lifestyle of bearing Good fruit, of Obeying God and “Doing GOOD unto All people, ESPECIALLY unto those who are of the Household of Faith” (this includes wives, as God Commands, “Husbands Love your Wife AS Christ Loved the Church and Gave himself for her.” Ephesians 5.

Colossians 3:19, “Husbands Love your Wives and Never treat them Harshly.”

Proverbs 12:18, “For harsh words stab and wound like a sword,” but KINDNESS, sincere, by the Holy Spirit, Speaks Words that Heal.

Reckless, angry, or thoughless speech (words) can pierce a cut deep into a person’s emotional well-being, leaving wounsa that feel as painful as a Physical blad or weapon. In direct opposition to hurtful words, THOUGHTFUL, and Wise speech (words) acts as a balm, bringing Comfort and Healing, Encouragement, Restoration and Peace.

Fallen Nature Tends Toward Selfishness:

The disruption of harmony between husbands and wives is traced directly back to the Fall while the New Testament, outlines the Redemption of that relationship through Christ.

Look for a continuation of this article, as we look at what you can do to protect yourself, set Firm Boundaries, and No longer allow anyone, not even your spouse to abuse you with such narcissistic behavior. We will learn How the Pray and you will see withing the scriptures that God truly does bring Justice, and how He Exposes, the darkness and the evil behavior you have been living with. And you will learn How God bring Recompense to You; how He Restores your Joy, peace and helps to turn your Mourning into Dancing;

In the meantime, study, learn, set boundaries, I personally follow Kris Reece on YouTube and Instagram. She was married to a Narcissist, and teaches how to recognize the patterns, and helps to provide applicable ways to protect yourself from the hurt. I highly encourage you to listen to her teaching, specifically, “The Prayer That Stops the Narcissist Dead in Their Tracks.” Which currently has 477 thousand views and counting.

Deliverance and Protection:

Psalm 34:17-19, “The Righeous Cry out, and the Lord hears them; He Delivers Them from All their troubles. The Lord is Close to the brokenhearted and Saves (Delivers) those who are crushed in spirit.”

Isaiah 54:17, “No Weapon formed against you will prevail, and you will Refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritabe of the Servants of the Lord, and this their vindication from Me,’ Declares the Lord.”

Romans 12:19, “Do not take revenge my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is Written: ‘It is min to Avenge; I will Repay,’ says the Lord.”

Narcissism Among Church Leadership:

If you are married to a pastor, worship pastor, deacon or any person within the ministry that is a narcissist, I encourage you to read the new article I recently found, titled: “When Your Spouse is a Toxic Pastor or Ministry leader: The Loneliness No One Sees” by Bonnie Ronstrom, a certified life coach, victim’s advocate, and pastoral counselor. She works with people harmed by toxicity, narcissism, and Spiritual Abuse. She holds degrees in counseling psychology and theology, with additional trainig in abuse and complex trauma. At https://willowlifecoach.com