Counterfeit Love -VS- Real Love
Love: Does Not behave rudely, it does Not Seek its Own Way, it is Not provoked, Thinks No Evil. 1 Corinthians 13:5.
In todays world, we must learn the difference between what is Real and what is Counterfeit, or what many would call Fake.
As an Author, Pastor, Wife, Mother and Grandmother, I have become an advocate for Women in All relationships (my husband and I are celebrating our 40th anniversary this October.)
I am consistently searching to find answers to help Women (specifically) learn to be Strong and Wise, when it comes to relationships, and how to stand up for herself and not allow anyone, and I mean anyone to mistreat or take advantage of her, not even their own husbands. I am also an Advocate for Women in the workplace, and in churches.
As I have studied the behaviors of men, and how they treat women, I have found that there is much error, some because of ignorance, some due to worldly influence, and much of it is through manipulation, and hierarchy in both the workplace, marriage, and religious institutions. Basically everywhere. To learn more regarding these issues read my recently published article: “Jesus and the Dignity of Women.”
It’s important to know and understand that Counterfeit Love is laced with selfish intentions, it “appears” real, Feels real, But It’s Not. This Counterfeit Love is in fact not love at all, at least Not God’s definition of Love. Counterfeit love is All about “Self,” it’s also about the Chase, and the Win, at All costs. and in the end, the scriptures tell us that this type of behavior leads only to ruin.
Counterfeit love (Fake love) is the complete opposite of Gods commandment of Love, which is what I have decided to call REAL LOVE.
This Love that comes from God, is not natural, in fact, it’s Supernatural, it is the Fruit of the Spirit of God, and this Love does NOT seek its Own way. In fact, the word of God says that this Love; Real Love, esteems others Better than themselves. Philippians 2:3, “Let Nothing be done through strife and vain glory (vanity) but in lowliness of mind, let each Esteem the other BETTER than himself” KJV.
Now, let’s look at this in the AMPC version, “Do nothing from factional motives (through contentiousness, strife, selfishness, or for unworthy ends) or prompted by conceit, and EMPTY ARROGANCE. Instead, in the TRUE SPIRIT of Humility (Lowliness of mind) let each regard the others as Better than himself/herself – thinking More Highly of one another than you do yourself.”
A Selfish love, love for “Self” thinks Only of “Self” what “Self” can get. This is what the scriptures call the “sin nature.” But Love, Real Love, puts others first; and Esteems Others BETTER than itself, and comes from the Spirit of God, this is what the Bible describes as the TRUE Spirit of Humility. The “Fruit of the SPIRIT is LOVE.”
Real Love seeks Not its own way. Real Love Lays its Way Down. Jesus says, “Love One Another As I have Loved You.”
John 13:34. Real Love has No hidden agenda, No evil intentions; using and manipulating others to get what it wants.
NO DISRESPECT:
In reference to husbands: disrespectfully and God does Not permit you to disrespect her. She is Not your property;
You do not own her, for she is made in the image of God just like you.
God says True Love, Real Love, lays his way down, and Honors Her, and when this happens (not because he’s trying to get something) when he loves and gives from a pure heart, an unfeined Love, then and only then will he experience that True Joy and Contentment that can Only come from the Spirit of God, not an earthly relationship.
1 Peter 1:22, “Now that you have purified yourselves by OBEYING THE TRUTH, see that You have Sincere Love for each other, Love one another deeply, from the Heart.” There is absolutely Nothing selfish about this Kind of Love, and this is the ONLY Love that God accepts.
In my 40 years of marriage, I have always tried to explain to my spouse that when a man of God, a husband of God who obeys God, and His commandment to love his wife as Christ loves the church and gave himself for her, and who obeys the Holy Spirit through the words of Peter that says, “Husbands in the same way Honor your wives” honor means to value her. It’s the same word for honor God, and it also means to treat her as Equal, because God created her that way, “treat her as you should” because it’s commanded of you. Then God says, when you obey Him, He promises that your prayers will not be hindered.
Explaining the Chase and the Win Mentality:
One of the reasons why people are addicted to their egos, striving to get what they want, is there is a natural chemical release in the brain that takes place, that’s why people Chase the Win. They want the Win at All costs. When it comes to relationships (and also in the workplace) those who have Selfish Ambition; those who live for Self, when they shower you with intense praise, idealization, and undivided attention (a phrase known as Love Bombing) their brain is releasing a Powerful chemical which produces a psychological high. While it looks like they are focused on making you feel good, their behavior is actually a self-serving mechanism to regulate their own fragile internal state.
The following is how this behavior affects them chemically and the psychological rewards they receive from it:
1) The Chemical High: “The God Complex” Rush, Dopamine surge. The Reward:
Narcissists lack stable, internal self-esteem.
Pay close attention to this next point: They Rely entirely on External Validation. Known as Narcissistic supply.
Even though Narcissism is not named in the Bible, it is referenced in scripture as: evil behavior, and selfish ambition, and is also listed in the verses describing the “works of the flesh” found in Galatians 5:16, “But I say, Walk (live, lifestyle) in the Spirit and you will Not fulfill the lusts of the flesh. For the flesh (mind, selfishness) sets its desires Against the Spirit, (see Romans 8:7) and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please, (meaning, there is a constant war, a spiritual war within) …Now the works of the flesh, (evil thinking, selfishness, not esteeming others Better than yourself) are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery (witchcraft) enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and thigs Like these, of which I “forewarn” you (this is the Holy Spirit WARNING us of such behaviors) just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice, (engage in) such things will Not inherit the Kingdom of God.
But, the Fruit of the Spirit is Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, Self-Control; against such things there is no law (meaning the Royal Law of Love is against the works of the flesh, but Love of course is Not against the Law, but is in fact fulfilling the Royal Law of Love.)
Now those who Belong to Christ, (those who have from their Heart listen and Obey Jesus and His Royal Law of Love commandments) have CRUCIFIED THE FLESH (the word of God says to follow Jesus example, He was crucified, and We crucify Our Flesh, by Living in the Spirit) with its passions and desires.
If we Live by the Spirit, Let us Walk by the Spirit.”
Here is what God says about the person who uses selfish behaviors (works of the flesh) to manipulate, and the spiritual reality behind their psychological “High.”
The Divine View on Flattery and Deceit:
The psychological high of “love bombing” relies entirely on flattery, and God Strongly condemns using this as a tool for control or manipulation. God warns that excessive insincere praise (flattery) is actually a weapon designed to influence you.
Let’s look at this in scripture: “A lying tongue hates those it hurts, and a flattering mouth works ruin.” Proverbs 26:28.
“A man (person) who flatters his neighbor (this is all inclusive, even in relationships) spreads a net for his feet.” Proverbs 29:5
Motivated by Self-Interest:
The Bible exposes this psychological reward by using others to serve their own hidden appetites’ and ego. “For such persons do not serve our Lord Christ, but their own appetites, and by smooth talk and flattery they deceive the hearts of the naive.”
Romans 16:18
In closing, please understand that God loves you, and it is never His plan, nor His will for others to disrespect you. Not in marriage, the church, nor in the workplace. Women, God’s Daughters have been made in the “image of God” and have been given the same Value and Worth. Neither God nor Jesus ever differentiate between men and women, male and female, in fact in Galatians 3:28 it says, “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for you are ALL One in Christ Jesus.” You can also read my article: All One in Christ Jesus.
According to Genesis 1:26-28 Men and Women have the Same Status, The Same Authority, and The Same Purpose.
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